Saturday, May 5, 2012

Living M/s, by Dan and dawn Williams

Description from

This book is a valuable resource for those interested in real-time Total Power Exchange Relationships. Dan and dawn share the reality behind the lifestyle that so many only fantasize about.

This is a book based on the experience of a couple, who has been living together as Master and slave for well over a decade and covers such topics as: challenges of living as a M/s couple; building your own M/s dynamic; changing terminology; the communities of M/s and BDSM and how they dance together (and apart); styles of D/s and M/s; Ms and polyamory; leather; orchestrating situations with multiple slaves, as well as many other topics.

Amazon lists this title as being available in paperback and Kindle format.  I read it on my Kindle. 

- How kinky?
Very.  This book is all about the relationship side of kink - in short, TPE, or Total Power Exchange.  The participants are also into kinky sex, but they don't go into that in the book.  This book is basically a very broad primer for kinky relationship styles, and specifically TPE.

- How sexy?
Well, it's sexy to me, but that's subjective!  As I mentioned, they don't go into sex in more than a few here-and-there sentences, so no, it's not sexy/sexual in nature.

- How informative?
Extremely! I loved how much detail they went into, in regards to their own relationship, and even anecdotes about other relationships, when their own couldn't provide the examples they needed to illustrate a point.  The authors covered ground in this book that they themselves no longer had to deal with, so it very much covered more bases than you could reasonably expect for a couple speaking only from personal or close-to-personal experience.  I found it wonderfully enlightening on many topics.

- How engaging?
Weeell ... I always read books cover to cover, one at a time, unless it's terrible (which this book is not).  So I did finish it in about three days, and I did enjoy reading it and learning about the lives of the authors.  I wouldn't exactly call this book un-put-downable, but every time I had to stop reading, I couldn't wait to get back to it and find out what I would learn next.  So, yes, fairly engaging.

- How well executed?

Rather well written.  Dan and dawn have their own voices throughout the book, clearly defined by the intros "Dan says" and "dawn says".  The book is split into very handy, quite short chapters, so it's easy to find ones that relate to you (M/s in a Vanilla World) and skip over topics that don't (M/s and Polyamory, for instance).  Combining these two methods of splitting the information into vital, bitesize chunks was a tool I found extremely handy when digesting all that the book had to teach me.  There is a lot of information there, but because it's broken up into smaller pieces it is easier to keep focussed on the topic at hand.  Plus knowing who was doing the explaining was very helpful when figuring out how to apply it to myself or my Dom.  The writing is as close to professional as one might expect from talented amateurs.  Very well executed!

- Overall reaction
Overall, extremely impressed.  This is my primer, my M/s 101, my just-starting-out bible.  Please, please get this book if you have any interest - personal or clinical - in TPE-type relationships.  Really the only thing stopping me from that last half-cock was the very occasionally sloppy presentation - including their blog entries was inspired but taught me nothing and weren't particularly fascinating.  Your Mileage May Vary.  All in all, I have no hesitation at all in stating - an absolutely brilliant read.  

4.5 out of 5 cocks!




Buy this book if:

  • You'd like to learn how to build your vanilla relationship into a kinky one, or your kinky relationship into TPE or 24/7.
  • You have always been curious about the interpersonal dynamics between a real life M/s couple.
  • You want to learn about the psychological side of a 24/7 or TPE relationship.
  • You are a mental health or counselling professional who would like or needs to know more about these sorts of relationships in a real world, rather than clinical, context. 

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