The Key Kit: for beginners (and everyone else)

About the Key Kit:

The idea of the Key Kit is that these are books which I personally, while reading them, have felt might help those who are just starting out.  Basically the idea is, even if you read no other books on that topic, read this one.  If you can only afford a few books to start with, make them these.  They are all what I consider to be seminal texts in their own small niches.  (For obvious reasons only non-fiction books are considered for the Key Kit.)

The Key Kit is a label on the titles' individual reviews, and I have listed them below also, to tell you a little bit about why they are in the Kit.

This book is for:  Anyone interested in the psychological side of a 24/7 or TPE relationship.

Will also help:  Anyone wondering how certain aspects of these relationships work, and how to apply them to your own life.

This book contains practical examples, personal experiences, and knowledgable tips and tools from people who have been there, done that, and made your mistakes for you.

Buy it if:   You need to know how to build your vanilla relationship into a kinky one, or your kinky relationship into TPE or 24/7.

This book is for:  Anyone interested in the deep questions that plague some kinksters for years: Why am I like this?  Am I still a good person?

Will also help: Anyone who likes an intellectual challenge, and likes to read about kink.

This book is great for working out your demons with yourself, for discussing your relationship with kinky friends, vanilla friends, or curious onlookers, and for referring to when you have those doubts that creep into your mind in the wee hours.

Buy it if:  You need to explain to someone you have just come out to why you are the way you are, or to help convince a dubious vanilla partner that it really is okay to be this way.

This book is for:  Anyone just starting out at service or mastery.

Will also help:  Anyone who has some experience with it, but would like a structured training program.

This is a great double-book for D-types and s-types alike who need a solid foundation for the structure of their relationship.  Gives a fantastic basis for a good training program, and also a good template to expand upon for your own further training.  I know it says it's about slavehood, but is excellent for submissives and bottoms, dominants and tops too.

Buy it if:  You have any interest at all in service or mastery.  Really, it's great for everyone!

This book is for:  Anyone starting out in D/s, and wondering how to overcome relationship hurdles.

Will also help:  Anyone having issues with their existing D/s relationship.

This is basically a D/s self-help relationship primer.   A fantastic book, not just for subs, but doms too.  Not so much for slave types, as the author is a sub and so writes from a specifically sub point of view.

Buy it if:  You are a sub or a dom interested in, or already in, a romantic relationship-based D/s dynamic. 

This book is for:  Everyone.  Literally - it is written in so skillful a way that makes it accessible to all readers including vanillas, newbies, players and kinky scholars.

Will also help:  Anyone who has just recently happened upon this veritable banquet of kinks, and needs a menu to decide what dishes to try next!

Buy it if: You have any interest at all in the amazing and fascinating array of fetishes and paraphilias humans have come up with.  I guarantee - whoever you are, whatever you are into, you will learn something.  Have fun!

This book is for:  Any kinkster interested in D/s and/or discipline.  Dom, sub, Master, slave, Top, bottom, mentor, protégé, casual player or hardcore lifestyler - I genuinely believe we all have something to take away from this book.  Even those who don't use a disciplinary dynamic on a daily basis can enjoy the lessons in here about humility, dignity, and self-improvement.

Will also help:  Anyone who has tried to explain or implement discipline in their relationship, but needs a more eloquent voice to phrase it better than they - here is your voice.

Buy it if:  You are attempting to add a D/s dynamic to a burgeoning relationship, or if you think yourself/your Dom or sub needs to brush up on the basics.  It is a self-help book in essence, but as that moniker implies, can not help only those around you, but even a single in need of some study material in the field of discipline, submission or even just living with rules (to which many of us are unaccustomed, even if we wish to become so). 

Special appendix to the Key Kit:

Subtext: A Modern Day Tale of Female Submission, by Kate Marley

I have included only non-fiction books in the Key Kit proper. However, a frequent question I have been asked lately is this: What would you recommend to people who want to read more/read a real-life 50 Shades of Grey?

My recommendation is this book. It is better written, more realistic, and overall is better in every way than that crime against BDSM (and writing in general) that is 50 Shades.  Read this - and give to misguided friends - as an antidote to starry-eyed would-be abusers and victims (sarcasm).

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