Submissive women have needs just like anybody else. But how can a woman get her needs met when she's relinquished her power to her dominant partner? With warmth, wisdom and a down-to-earth approach, experienced submissive Kacie Cunningham analyzes the realities of the dominant-submissive lifestyle and suggests ways in which both partners can experience the greatest possible growth and pleasure. At the heart of the book is an emotion Kacie has dubbed "Conquer Me" -- which she defines as "the submissive's internal demand for a show of strength." Without a clear understanding of "conquer me," both submissive and dominant may find themselves at odds -- either fighting unhappily, or watching the passion ebb from their relationship. This book explains this unique need and how to get it met -- essential knowledge for any submissive or couple who wants to get the most out of their D/s lifestyle.
Amazon lists this title as being available in paperback and Kindle formats. I read it on my Kindle.
- How kinky?
Well, yes, it's about D/s. But there's no sex in here, so it depends what you deem kinky. Cunningham does try to bring every discussion back to D/s as often as possible. Even in the chapters on "vanilla" subjects, like communication, and interpersonal relations, she brings it all around again and shows you how it's done in a D/s context.
- How sexy?
There's no sex in here. This is a book written from the point of view of a romantically involved subbie, but she doesn't go into the BDSM side of things.
- How informative?
Very! I found myself highlighting passages on my Kindle just because they were so eloquent and succinct. I am even planning to go through and write some of these gems up onto post-its, and using them as daily affirmations/meditations. True, the book covers basic ground, but it's such basic ground that even the most experienced couple will find something they've forgotten, or something crucial that is worded in such a way as to strike a real chord with them. It's really an amazing self-help book for subbies and D/s couples.
- How engaging?
Very. As I said, I learned so much that I always wanted to pick it back up so I could see what Cunningham would cover next.
- How well executed?
Very. Cunningham is clearly a talented writer. As mentioned, she writes eloquently and beautifully, and puts her points across in such a way that she is always understood. She uses a quite conversational style, and brings her own personality into her writing, so that she doesn't ever sound like a stuffy psycho-babble self-help "guru". She just sounds like your older, more experienced slave-sister, helping you along with things you didn't even realise needed clarification.
The subtitle. Got to be honest here - the subtitle is awful. Seriously - girl-to-girl wisdom about fulfilling your submissive desires? Sounds like a D/s Cosmo magazine article. I actually bought this title ages ago, and put off reading it because the subtitle was so awful, I thought the book would be awful too. Please don't let it put you off! It was probably the publisher's idea - or that's what I choose to believe anyway.
- Overall reaction
Great book, well written, clear, concise and intelligent. Covers a lot of ground that is really basic stuff for D/s relationships - really a lot of "vanilla" stuff, if you like - so that's the only reason I'm marking it down.
Buy this book if:
- You are a sub or a Dom interested in, or already in, a romantic relationship-based D/s dynamic, and wondering what kinds of D/s-specific issues can occur.
- If you're having issues with your existing D/s relationship, and finding "vanilla" relationship books aren't providing enough, or relevant information.